Certified Brain Rot Hoodie

This hoodie has been reviewed, assessed, and officially certified by the InDiscreet committee following a thorough evaluation of the wearer's internet usage, screen time, and general disposition. It is the same certification as the shirt but warmer, which the committee felt was appropriate given the condition. You've earned the comfort. You know what you did.

CERTIFIED ARTICLE OF CLOTHING — "CERTIFIED BRAIN ROT" COLLECTION

This garment has been formally processed and approved for public wear. It bears an official certification. That certification was issued by InDiscreet. InDiscreet issued it to you specifically. You know why.

This is not a medical diagnosis. This is not an intervention. This is a hoodie. It has been certified by the relevant committee and cleared for immediate deployment.

What it says: That you have been evaluated and found to be, beyond reasonable doubt, extremely online.

What it means: That is between you and your screen time report.

InDiscreet assumes no liability for unsolicited opinions, knowing looks, or conversations initiated by this garment. All certifications are final. The committee has spoken. Wear at your own jurisdiction.

Product: J America JA8824 Adult Adult Premium Fleece Pullover Hood

• 10 oz.
• 80/20 cotton/polyester fleece fabric
• Fashion heather colors are 9 oz.
• Coverstitching throughout
• Jersey-lined hood
• Front pouch pocket
• Spandex blend rib knit cuffs and waistband