Certified Brain Rot Fleece Joggers

These pants have been reviewed, assessed, and officially certified by the InDiscreet committee. The certification appears on the garment itself, which the committee acknowledges is a bit much for a pair of pants. They stand by the decision. So do we. So do you, apparently, because you're still reading this.

CERTIFIED ARTICLE OF CLOTHING — "CERTIFIED BRAIN ROT" COLLECTION

This garment has been formally processed and approved for public wear. It bears an official certification. That certification was issued by InDiscreet. InDiscreet issued it to you specifically. You know why.

This is not a medical diagnosis. This is not an intervention. These are pants. It has been certified by the relevant committee and cleared for immediate deployment.

What it says: That you have been evaluated and found to be, beyond reasonable doubt, extremely online.

What it means: That is between you and your screen time report.

InDiscreet assumes no liability for unsolicited opinions, knowing looks, or conversations initiated by this garment. All certifications are final. The committee has spoken. Wear at your own jurisdiction.

Product: Port & Company PC78J 

• 7.8 oz.,
• 50% cotton / 50% poly fleece
• Removable tag for comfort and relabeling
• Elastic, self-fabric waistband and self-fabric cuffs
• Dyed-to-match exterior drawcord
• Front pockets