{"product_id":"certifiedbrainrottee","title":"Certified Brain Rot T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis shirt has been reviewed, assessed, and officially certified by the InDiscreet committee following a thorough evaluation of the wearer's internet usage, screen time, and general disposition. The certification is real. The committee is real. The brain rot is yours. Wear it with honor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCERTIFIED ARTICLE OF CLOTHING — \"CERTIFIED BRAIN ROT\" COLLECTION\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThis garment has been formally processed and approved for public wear. It bears an official certification. That certification was issued by InDiscreet. InDiscreet issued it to you specifically. You know why.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThis is not a medical diagnosis. This is not an intervention. This is a shirt. It has been certified by the relevant committee and cleared for immediate deployment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat it says:\u003c\/strong\u003e That you have been evaluated and found to be, beyond reasonable doubt, extremely online.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat it means:\u003c\/strong\u003e That is between you and your screen time report.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr class=\"border-border-200 border-t-0.5 my-3 mx-1.5\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eInDiscreet assumes no liability for unsolicited opinions, knowing looks, or conversations initiated by this garment. All certifications are final. The committee has spoken. Wear at your own jurisdiction.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct: Port \u0026amp; Company PC43 Port \u0026amp; Co ™ Easy Cotton Tee PC43\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e4.3 oz lightweight fabric for breathable comfort\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% cotton, 30 singles\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic fit for easy, everyday wear\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft cotton construction (blend varies by color)\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e90% cotton, 10% polyester (Athletic Heather)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e98% cotton, 2% polyester (Ash)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e50% cotton, 50% polyester (Heathers, S. Green, S. 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